Week Six: Transitions in Marriage

Some of the trends we are starting to see relative to marriage are:
-delaying marriage (averaging between ages 26-28 now)
-delaying children (postponing having them and reducing the number of kids born into a family)
-cohabitation
-same-sex cohabitation
-individualism
-rise in divorce
-fewer people who marry at all

Now, these are things that seem to be "trends in the world".  Even though patterns are emerging that seem to be effecting marriage and families in a negative way, there are still things we can do to successfully prepare for marriage at a younger age in order to have and maintain happy relationships and families.

Three symbolic indicators that will help shape how the relationship will be in the future are mutual decision making, the focus, and establishing patterns.  These can help the relationship or hinder it's progress depending on how the couple communicates about them.  It is very important to note that the way a marriage starts will make a huge difference in the first few years, but also will potentially affect the marriage throughout life.  There are often little adjustments that are to be made soon after the wedding which will help increase understanding and create a solid foundation upon which the rest of the marriage and communication within it may build.

It is important to create a new and independent family unit once married.  Important things to do together, especially at the beginning of a marriage are:
-make choices and decisions
-be actively involved in each others lives
-activities together
-act on intelligence, not urges or instincts
-date nights
-inter-change roles (ex. if the wife always cooks, have the husband cook, etc.)
-talk about future events (like the birth of the first child) and how you picture it being (ex. who will be present, how involved, when, etc.)
-share dreams and goals with each other
-be honest

It is most important to maximize every opportunity given you to strengthen the most important unit, and that is the unit of husband and wife.  I know I directed a lot of these thoughts to recently married couples, but the ideas and patters should be recognized and observed throughout life.